Life with God

As I was packing up my room yesterday I realized I have moved four times in the past year. That's a lot for someone who doesn't like change. I never could have predicted I would be where I am now. Just one year ago I was moving out of the dorms in North Russel. I had an amazing summer at camp, where I met a friend who told me about Navigators and the amazing community at UNC. In the fall I moved in to an apartment in Waco with two amazing friends. Six months ago I started considering transferring schools. And I did. I moved home and since then the best way to describe my semester is unpredictable. After some housing struggles I moved into a house full of amazing girls. I went on a spring break trip with a group of people I barely knew and found an amazing community. I stopped leading young life and and became part of leadership for Navigators. I have grown spiritually and have fallen more in love with Jesus.

I like to have a plan and to be in control of my life, but God has shown me that His plans are far greater than anything I could ever come up with on my own. Learning to listen to Him and to let Him guide me has been a struggle, but I'm learning to fully trust Him and to give Him control of my life. My friend mentioned a devotional she read in her blog about uncertainty and I think it describes beautifully the way God has a plan for our lives. I am "certain of uncertainty."

I didn't know God would lead me to where I am today and I am "uncertain of the next step, but [I am] certain of God." I no longer am afraid of an unknown future. Honestly, I am excited to see what God has in store for me. "When we have the right relationship with God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy."

Life to the full!

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." ~Jesus (John 10:10)

I am truly blessed. I had such an amazing Easter! Starting Saturday night I went to church in Greeley...I absolutely love my church here! I really like the message and I could go on for awhile about it but I'll just mention the parts that stood out the most to me.

Jesus came not only to take our debt and forgive our sins, but also to give us life and life to the full! We don't always live like this though. What does it look like to live life to the full? Life involves growth and transformation.

He gave a great analogy at church...one that I could easily relate to. I'm horrible at mariocart so maybe you haven't made this mistake but I'm sure you can think of someone who has, but have you ever played and looked at the wrong screen the whole time? You notice the person you are racing is turning and jumping and doing everything the same time you are. If someone wasn't watching the screen it would look like you both were doing the same thing. But one person crosses the finish line while the other is stuck in a corner on the first lap. This describes so much what my relationship with God is like sometimes. I go through all the motions yet I'm not getting growing closer to God.

When Jesus died on the cross he said, "It is finished." The work is done. It's not about what we do. It's all about what He had done. It is finished. He loved us so much he did on the cross and there is nothing we must do in return. Jesus doesn't want our works, he wants our hearts and the rest will follow. Whatever has our hearts controls our actions. God wants us to love and desire Him.

My desire to know God has grown so much this semester and the result has been life to the full! I pray that desire only grows more and more. There is no place I would rather be than at the feet of my Savior.

The rest of the weekend was spent living life to the full! After church Saturday I went to Fort Collins and had dinner with my parents. Then went and watched Passion of the Christ with some of my best friends. Sunday I went to church with my parents and had a Delicious brunch! And beat my parents at Settlers of Catan, great game! Then I went to Greeley to have another delicious meal (two Easter meals...maybe put on a few pounds, who cares) with some awesome friends in Greeley. After eating and talking for awhile we went to the park where we played some intense games of ninja, ultimate, and yes duck duck goose. Of course McDonald's is open on Easter so we got smoothies and ice cream. Finally we rented Cars and had a movie slash homework night. It was the Easter celebration that never ended. It was a great day!

HE IS RISEN!

Praise be to God.

I had probably the best spring break of my life and I can't even explain all that God did in one week, but I am going to try anyways. I went to Kentucky and Tennesee with Navigators. We spent most of the time working at an amazing camp that shares the gospel with urban kids during the summer. I don't even know what made me decided to go but I know it was part of God's plan. He did so much in one week and taught me more than I could have expected to learn. I don't know where to begin...

The first lesson learned was not the easiest. But I learned to appreciate life and to never take it for granted. You never know when He is going to call you home. You never know when He is going to take someone you love home. Take time to mourn with those who mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice but never stop praising God. Life is short and if you are living it for yourself it is meaningless. Live for the glory of God and you can find enjoyment and satisfation in all you do. Life here is short. Make it count. Rejoice in the fact that Jesus gave us eternal life!

Life can be hard and I have often felt what I do is pointless. Nothing in this world will last, nothing we do will matter. But God gave meaning to life. God gives meaning to everything we do. God tells us to work like we are serving him not man. When you are on a mission trip it is easy to serve God. But back in Greeley I know I can continue to serve him while I work and in school. I can find enjoyment in what I do because of his love and the love he has given me to share with others. Praise God there is more to our existence than life on this earth but while we are here God has given us a gift, the ability to find satisfaction and enjoyment in what we do. Do not waste that gift. God wants our heart, He wants us to be joyful. Eccleiastes 2 and 3

Not only can we find joy in all that we do, but we don't have to do it all alone. God made us to have relationships with people and we were created to be in fellowship with others. I am so thankful for fellowship. There is nothing better than a community of believers coming together to praise and glorify God. The biggest thing I learned was that as people we are all different, but as Christians we have everything in common. Jesus is our everything and because we of him we have everything in common. (Acts 2:44) Our pasts don't matter. Our differences don't matter. We can all come together as beleivers.

The highlight of my week was seeing the way people came together to serve God. Not only did we all work together to finish projects, but we everyone made an effort to really get to know everyone. This sometimes is a struggle for me. I am really bad at going out of my comfort zone and I was really nervous to spend a week with people I don't know. I am slow to open up to people and I am shy and awkward around people I don't know well. This is something I have been working on all semester and God has been teaching me alot. He has revealed to me so many insecurities and anxious thoughts I have. I am learning to find my confidence in God and reminding myself I am his creation. I have also realized that I am insecure when I put myself first. If I put God and others first I won't be concerned about myself or my insecurities. I still need alot of work and I have alot of insecurities I need to let go of, but this week showed me how much God has already started chaning me and freeing me of some of those insecurities. Never have I felt so comfortable around a group of people I just met and I truelly enjoyed getting to know each and everyone of them. They are a great group of Christians who are passionate about serving God and desire to grow deeper with him. I am so blessed to be part of an amazing community.

I met so many amazing people. Not just in our group, but at the camp, on the road, in Nashvielle. It is awesome the way God can bring people together! You never know who you are going to meet, be intentional about loving the people around you! They are all God's creation. Be a light in the world.

Another important lesson I learned...how to dance! Pretty much everynight after dinner we had worship then danced. I was so impressed with how good all the guys were at country swing dancing. Even if I am not good at it I love dancing! It was too much fun! I also learned to use power tools. Cool.

I could go on and on about the trip but I think I'll stop here. It was an amazing week. Not because of anything I did or anything that happened, but because of who God is and all that He did.

XGAMES

One of the best parts about transferring homes is that I am close to the mountains and my great friends Amanda and Ellen. We went to the xgames last weeked and it was amazing. Superpipe, free stuff, hot springs, and best friend time. I was going to post all about it but Ellen pretty much summed it up better than I could (and she used cool pictures), so just read her blog instead.

http://ellenmcd.blogspot.com/2012/01/californiabeautiful.html

I am so blessed to have such great friends and to have the opportunity to go to the xgames and get away for the weekend. Too much fun.

Being a Christian.

I really like this poem so I thought I would share it. And the prayer below is beautiful...something we all should live by.

When I Say "I Am A Christian"

by Carol Wimmer

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I am saved"
I'm whispering "I get lost!"
"That is why I chose this way."

When I say..."I am a Christian"
don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need someone to be my guide.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and pray for strength to carry on.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and cannot ever pay the debt.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
my flaws are too visible
but God believes I'm worth it.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartaches
which is why I seek His name.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I do not wish to judge.
I have no authority.
I only know I'm loved.

---

My Commitment as a Christian

 

"I'm part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have Holy Spirit power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I'm a disciple of His. I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away or be still.

My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure. I'm finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, worldly talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer live for pre-eminence, prosperity, position, promotions, applause, or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, top, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, uplifted by prayer, and labor with power.

My face is set, my steps are fast, my goal is heaven, my raod is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are few, my Guide reliable, my mission clear. I can't be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, decieved, or delayed. I will not shrink in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversary, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or wander in the maze of mediocrity.

I won't give up, shut up, let up, until I have stayed up, stored up, paid up, preached up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus. I must go until He comes, give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He stops me, and when He comes for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me -- my banner will be clear!"

----- This is a commitment prayer found in the office of a young African pastor in Zimbabwe.

BOLD

It's amazing the influence technology can have on us. In many ways media can spread lies, but it can also be used to spread truth. These are two videos that I absolutely love...

These videos are powerful and inspirational. Being in a new place, I am forced to constantly go out of my comfort zone. I am forced to talk to new people and to build new relationships. God is teaching me more and more to find confidence in him and who he created me to be.

Lately I feel like God is not only teaching me to be confident in meeting new people, but to be bold in sharing my faith. The world is full of death and I know the cure. I have a relationship with Jesus and it is selfish of me to not share the Gospel with everyone I meet. I know the cure to the disease that affects all of mankind...and yet I know many people who do not know Jesus.

Its not my job and not in my capability to save lives. But Jesus doesn't call us to save lives...he calls us to share the gospel. Even that seems too hard for me sometimes. I am too timid, self conscious, and prideful to share the good news with those who need to hear it.

How then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one who they have not heard? And how can they without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

Romans 10:14-15

These videos inspire me to share what I believe with others, to be bold and focus my life, relationships, and conversations on God. But I can't do it on my own, I am timid,self conscious, and prideful without Jesus. It is amazing the way God can use me when I focus my life on  him. And how blessed are we to be part of his greater plans, that we can glorify our God!?

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from is love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.

Philippians 2:1-2

What does it mean to be like minded? I think of the way Jesus loved. They way that he saw and acknowledged everyone who crossed his path. How hard is that? Yet I am too shy to say hi to people I do not know. But God is not finished with me. He continues to transform me, to give me confidence and a desire to meet others. So whether its my classmate sitting next to me, the employee at the grocery store, or a passerby on the sidewalk, I want acknowledged everyone. Don't let anyone go unseen. Show others God's love the same way he shows me his love everyday. 

So my goal...be bold. Set myself aside, give my worries and insecurities to God, and put Jesus first so that he may use me and so I can see that he is at work all around me. God is good. And I am excited to see what God has planned for this semester. God is so good.

New Beginnings, Crafts, and Music

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:13-14

I'm three weeks into my semester at UNC and I still feel like I am about to go back to Baylor any day now. I'm going to be honest, there are a lot of things I miss in Waco. I am trying not to dwell on them. And I am learning to embrace change...not a fun thing for me to do. But growth (sometimes I really hate growth, but I guess its a good thing) only comes with change. So being optimistic about change I am trying to acknowledge the past and accept knew beginnings.

There was a reason I transferred, I wasn't happy and I didn't like who I was there. So now is a chance for me to start over. A chance to focus on what God has planned for me. I am ready for the blessings and the struggles He will bring me. I am ready joy, pain, growth, and change. It may terrify me, but I am ready to start over and this time to focus solely on who God wants me to be and what He is calling me to do. Two specific things I want to focus on this semester...humility and courage. I need them both. I have a pride issue...I worry too much what people think of me and focus too much on being perfect. And because of it I miss out and experiences and chances to get to know people.

As much as I miss Baylor and the people there. I know this is were I am suppose to be and I am glad to be here. And I am learning to embrace all of the new beginnings in my life...new school, new classes, new house, new roommates, new young life team, new town, new church.

One way I decided to deal with the stress of finding a new house and new roommates was to redo my room...which for me usually means a lot of crafts! After two weeks my room is starting to feel like home...

Along with my new room, I also got new music. I deleted a couple hundred songs (wasn't hard to do...I use to listen to pretty horrible music) and add multiple CDs with music. So pretty much I have a whole new iPod! And I love having new music, so if anyone wants to burn me a CD feel free ;) Right now I am kinda obsessed with Drew Holcomb, The Civil Wars, Ben Rector, and Josh Garrels. They're great.

New friends, crafting, music and what not is great, but really my goal for this semester is to focus on my relationship with God and His plan for my life. I don't want my semester to be about friends I am going to make, what I am going to study, what I am going to be involved in, what I want to do in my free time...yes, these are all important but I also have a tendency to be self-centered. I put all these things before Christ and before my relationship with Him. He must come first. New beginnings, new priorities.

Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must DENY HIMSELF and take up his cross DAILY and follow me."

Luke 9:23